STRAY is about random adventure and escape. STRAY is about pretending that Adelaide is Ferris Bueller's Day Off and that fun and money aren't mutually exclusive. STRAY is cheap hijinx, cheap dates and the outings you could be planning while you're actually watching Video Hits on a weekend at 11am.
Personally, I choose not to shave. It's tedious, painful and makes me look like some kind of prepubescent bootlicker. Instead, I opt for a perpetual shadow of closely cropped growth. However, my sense of curiosity often outweighs my sense of better judgement, which is how I found myself being shaved by a girl.
Every now and then I get a little misty eyed and wish I'd devoted my life to solving crimes rather than office admin. Telling the chief to shuttup and look at the results I was bringing in rather than the number of innocents I had shot dead would be waaaay more interesting than memorising excel formulas.
Those Gen X moustached fellas and Farrah-flicked sheilas of Don's Party knew how to do it. Hard liquor, sleaze, and disillusionment were the core ingredients of an awesome election night party. So in an election campaign that's been boring as batshit, we need something to get us in the mood for 'democracy at work'.
I never get mail from anyone anymore. I mean REAL mail. You know, the good stuff via the post. It's a darn shame really. There's just nothing like the precious touch of a tangible communication from a real-world friend/foe/faux-friend. The emptiness within which this lacking in incoming post has created in me has led me to 'surf' the always magical internets for the answer to my woes.
A year ago I moved into a house behind the Olympic Bingo Hall. With my community spirit and a desire to acquaint myself with local industry I went along. I now own three different bingo stamp pens and pack a hand-cut laminated card to prove membership of the Olympic Social Club (it's free!). My self-esteem is better for it if you really want to know.
This week I've been asked to write about being a medical test subject. I'm tired of writing about being a medical test subject. Suffice to say that volunteering yourself for medical research is an excellent responsibility-avoidance strategy. Free money / sandwiches / cab vouchers / time to think about your life.
You know what's fun? Putting your life in the hands of a 29-year old driver with very limited experience on the road. If you're going to die, you might as well do it while screaming blue murder and taking seven friendly strangers with you, right?
No actually, WRONG. How about you get your licence when you're seventeen, like the rest of us, you L-plating gallah? How about learning to turn your head without turning the car? How about indicating? How about LET ME DRIVE MY OWN CAR I'M NOT YOUR MUM.
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