FiveThousand

OUT: Hit The Jackpot (with Seb!)

Thu, 11 Mar 2010 00:00:00 +1100

What:
Hit The Jackpot with Seb, Naked on The Vague, Shame Spiral

Where:
The Metro, Grote St, City

When:
Sat Mar 13, 8pm

Once upon a time there was a boy named Seb. Seb liked all kinds of regular little boy things, like Matchbox Cars, his sister's Barbie's formidable bosoms, Nintendo, and lastly, noise. When Seb was all grown up he played in a real rock and roll band called Hit The Jackpot but he had an itch, the only way to scratch this itch was to move to London, since he left his scratching hand there. What am I talking about? Seb is back playing with Hit The Jackpot, Shame Spiral and Naked on The Vague, that's probably all that needed to be said.

OUT: This Is Your City

Thu, 11 Mar 2010 00:00:00 +1100

What:
'This Is Your City'

Where:
FORMAT, 15 Peel St, City

When:
Fri Mar 12, 6pm

How Much:
FREE

Just because your art hasn't been exhibited in the confines of the four walls of a gallery, doesn't mean the things you spend so much time doing are not art, are not vital, are not GREAT. Breaking down barriers is what Format's all about, and 'This Is Your City', an exhibition of photography that hasn't seen a gallery wall before - maybe just a lounge room or impromptu computer slideshow - breaks down the clique. Format ends Sunday, we aren't tired of it, we want more.

STRAY: Handball Nation

Thu, 11 Mar 2010 00:00:00 +1100

What:
HANDBALL NATION

Where:
Your patio, your drive way, your cul-de-sac, FORMAT

When:
Anytime

OMG remember handball? How much fun was handball? I don't mean the weird Eurotrash handball that looks like water polo minus the water, but the kind you used to play in school, between periodic mania for marbles, pogs, tazos, bottle caps, huffing paint, Blink 182 and lying about who you'd fingered at Laurie Milligan's house. ZOMG remember foursquare? Remember that obscure rule where if the king gets out they get to bypass the line and go straight to dunce? Damn, such a chilling metaphor for ruling class privilege - no wonder I wound up so bitter.

Unlike, say, Powderfinger, handball actually holds up pretty well. It's fast-paced, skillful, easy to learn and provides an excellent workout. My thighs and glutes all of a sudden feel ROCK HARD on account of my handball style is real low and agile - like a crab. Plus all you need is some chalk (although thin white packing tape is better), a tennis ball and a case of alcopops.

Bam! Get to it!

SHOP: Real Store

Thu, 11 Mar 2010 00:00:00 +1100

What:
Real Store

Where:
233 Rundle St

When:
7 days

Contact:
www.realstore.com.au, 82329396

The clothes are real. The racks, they real. The jeans, yep, real. The shop assistant dudes that know all kinds of stuff about stuff (mostly clothes, and stuff), real (I prodded one once). The mirrors, yeah, unfortunately they are all too real. Actually, the whole store is real. Yep, it really is a really real store.

It's kind of nice to walk into a store where there isn't too much of that false oh-my-gawd-I-love-you assistant shtick. Real Store is just dudes, being dudes, and selling stuff to dudes. Being cheerful, being pleasant; no pretense, just a whole lot of "hey, you like those jeans? Alright then".

Real Store carries some hoodie and tee staple brands, your Wesc's, your Wrangler's, but supplements these relatively straight threads with the more interesting; the small scale guys shooting for the bigger time. Like your Vanishing Elephants. Really.

READ: Zine review - Adventure Time

Thu, 11 Mar 2010 00:00:00 +1100

What:
Adventure Time

Where:
Online here or pop into Format.

How much:
$2 ish

Contact:
maddy.phelan@gmail.com

The same-old same-old not doing it for you anymore? Find yourself wanting MORE? Bored with yourself, even? Maybe it's time to read about Maddy, the Zinester Girl Who Could. Dissatisfied with everyday, predictable life she starts up an 'Adventure Time! Fun Club' with other uni nerds and they go visiting the observatory (they really do). A whole lot more exciting than listening to the usual yadda yadda yadda at house parties (not using ironic tone of voice here).

Fighting between the inclination to get drunk and the inclination for intellectual stimulation, Maddy forms splinter groups at parties, types instead of talks, gets her gear off amongst punks at pools in Wollongong, leads expeditions upstream in the bush and bails at one hip gathering to creep around a nearby graveyard.

While it is unclear what happened to the said Adventure Club (with fourteen founding members) - unless you read issue 2 - Maddy inspires us all to stop being a boring idiot and do something interesting with our Saturday Nights.

GOODS: R.M. Williams Boots

Thu, 11 Mar 2010 00:00:00 +1100

What:
R.M. Williams Boots

Where:
Trims, Specialty Shoe Stores and R.M. Williams online

How much:
$200-$500

Reginald Murray Williams would surely be chuffed to see his bespoke riding boots taking to the streets. Fenella Peacock (Ant!pod!um) introduced us to that special combination of ruggedness and femininity that can be achieved with frilly skirts and blundies. Well people took stock of Ant!pod!um, and stockman boots are stomping through trendy laneways. While Fenella advised the Blundstone as boot of choice, when you need a look that is a bit more toff than tradie, RMs are the go.

RM Williams boots have been made in Australia ever since Reg took up the trade in the 1930s. Coming in either rubber or ultra toff leather soles, all RM uppers are stitched from a single piece of leather. That means fewer seams - so less chance of catching on stirrups for horseyfolk, and just more comfort for everyone else.

Clearly, they are hip for casual wear, but for boys in suits, the jury is still out and the affirmative camp is in no way assisted by K Rudd's fondness for the footwear.

WATCH: Alice In Wonderland

Thu, 11 Mar 2010 00:00:00 +1100

What:
Alice In Wonderland

Where:
In cinemas from March 4

Watch Trailer:
Here

So many people must say to Tim Burton, "You should totally make a movie out of [insert colourful, absurdist text with childlike hero]!" Well, Alice In Wonderland is a very good impression of a Tim Burton film. The CGI-heavy product design looks an absolute treat, and Burton has fun with 3D technology, especially in the ‘down-the-rabbit-hole' scene.

But the plot lets it down. I didn't mind the inclusion of characters from Lewis's later Through The Looking-Glass as much as the limp, unconvincing gestures to feminism and the way Alice (Mia Wasikowska) becomes some kind of insurgent guerrilla: lured back to Wonderland at age 19 in order to slay the Jabberwocky (Christopher Lee) and hand the throne from the Red Queen (Helena Bonham-Carter) back to the White Queen (Anne Hathaway).

Wasikowska's dry skepticism contrasts nicely with the hammy Hathaway and Bonham-Carter, while Stephen Fry and Alan Rickman make fine work of the Cheshire Cat and Blue Caterpillar, respectively. But the usually excellent Johnny Depp is a lazy disappointment as the Mad Hatter (Johnny Depp). His bizarre lapses into a Scottish accent are curiouser and curiouser than anything else in Wonderland.

OUT: Format Closing Night

Thu, 11 Mar 2010 00:00:00 +1100

What:
Format Closing Night

Where:
Format, 15 Peel St, City

When:
Sun Mar 14, 8pm

How much:
$7 for bands

It's hard to say goodbye. Once again, the Format Festival has been a tropical island in the middle of the jerk-infested ocean that is Adelaide during Feb/March. To ease the pain of parting, Format is having a SHIT HOT DO for closing night, this Sunday March 14th from 8pm, following on from the ZINE & DIY FAIR which runs from midday til five. NAKED ON THE VAGUE (Sydney) return to Adelaide for the first time since oh eight (RIP Big Star), this time playing their gloomy industrial/pop as a 4-piece, supported by FKN TUTTS, FAIR MAIDEN, BURNT SKULLS and DUD PILLS. Come have a drink (cheap!), dance to DJs (fun!) and gather with your chums in respectful appreciation of the awesome times Format 2010 has given to us all (aww!).

EATDRINK: African Twilight Market

Thu, 11 Mar 2010 00:00:00 +1100

What:
African Twilight Market

Where:
Prospect Plaza, Prospect Rd

When:
Fridays, 6-9:30pm

Contact:
Facebook

Image:
African Twilight Market

I purposely didn't eat much today because I knew that I was going to the African Twilight Market for dinner. For those who don't know, it's a small market run by the African Community Organisation of SA, there's loud African music, amazing food and a bunch of stalls selling various ‘wares', all run by Africans - get it, it's an African Market.

My first stop was a stall run by two women selling icing sugar pastries. I wasn't into it so I told them I'd come back for dessert (with no intention of actually doing so). I walked off and got a plate of (amazing) Sudanese food ($10!) and stupidly sat down, without noticing, opposite the pastry-makers.

While eating I realised I was being eye-stalked. The two women were sitting there GAZING at me, no doubt to make sure that I would actually go and get some pastries as promised. Fair enough. By the time I finished eating I was sufficiently freaked out (they were seriously staring), but motivated, so I went up and bought some of their bloody pastries. Admittedly, they were only $2 and delicious, but now I'm so full I can't walk.

LOOK: Faceless: Dead & Desirable, Jason Sweeney & Fiona Sprott

Thu, 11 Mar 2010 00:00:00 +1100

What:
'Faceless: Dead & Desirable', Jason Sweeney & Fiona Sprott

Where:
AeAF, Cnr North Terrace & Morphett Street, City

When:
Thurs Mar 11, Fri Mar 12, 7pm

How much:
$15 + b/f through FringeTIX

Contact:
http://aeaf.org.au , 82117505

So, this one guy I know, flirts with girls by playing online Scrabble with them. Hanging out on Facebook waiting for someone's green dot to appear is the 2010 equivalent of ‘waiting for him to call'. Can you imagine only having a landline? Analogue sex is such a bore. I should probably talk about the art now.

Jason Sweeney and Fiona Sprott of Unreasonable Films know all about intimacy and the interwebs. Ever since the good old days of Geocities (I'm talking 1993 here) Unreasonable Films have been exploring film and internet communication. Unlike a certain Digital Dating Project Unreasonable Film's ‘Faceless: Dead and Desirable' is likely to tease out the darker considerations of closeness in the digital age in a highly intelligent and experiential manner. Indeed this level of quality seems to be present in much of the 2010 AeAF programming under the new directorship of Domenico de Clario.

The blurb sells ‘Faceless: Dead and Desirable' as a, 'life performance sound work' and an ‘anti-social networking space'. You'll probably have to go to figure out what that means.