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Ten years ago when someone said the word ‘bling' you may have thought of a gnarly rapper from Oakland talking about his diamond-encrusted grill. These days when you hear it, it's more likely a middle-aged woman talking about the cubic zirconia earrings she bought off eBay. The term is so far gone that the only way to save it from dying a middle class death is to overcompensate by making it so ironic that it reverts back to its original form.
Keeping an eye on the cool kids is much easier when they're all sitting at the same table having dinner and you find that chink in the wall and try to go for a quick peek.
That's where TOURIST Magazine come in; this isn't a looky-lu into some fashionista's daily shoe choices, but moreso a view into the better things.
When I visited California, the closest I got to the State's south was sitting next to a one-armed guy from San Diego at the Greyhound Station in Hollywood. But if I had ventured down to Southern Cali I would have pleasantly learnt that a) most of its inhabitants are blessed with two arms and b) there's an f-load of excellent vintage goods to be had.
There seems to be a prevailing consensus in this country that Sweden is some kind of promised land where everything works, everybody is attractive, and no one is fat. Well, I've been to Sweden and I can tell you that this is a total load of bollocks because I saw at least three fat people in the two weeks I was there.
Mel Loughnan (Utopian Slumps) could have been that little mousy-haired girl in the flashback in Annie Hall who said "I'm into leather" in a really creepy way. Because Mel's into leather, but not in a creepy way at all. She always knew there was more to animal hide than whips and S&M.
Issue 11 of Five Dials begins with a note on lists, and how useful they can be as effective slices of biography, hinting at what's going on in a person's life at the time of list writing.
If I showed you my current list you might dislocate your jaw from yawning so hard ("Remove apostrophe from 'you're'", "Change photo background to white") so I thought instead I'd write a list of the things that went through my head while reading Five Dials:
1) Heh.
Bug & Megs are feltophiles. While the other kids were playing ponies, this crafty couple were tinkering with trinkets and fooling with finger puppets. But they soon grew tired of inferior acrylic "felt". They looked everywhere for an Australian supplier of real felt, but alas, none could be found.
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